5DP5DT = 5 days past 5 day transfer

Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & foetal cells

Another day of waiting. Tick Tock Tick Tock Can time move any slower. 

Had the worse headache last night, and today again, kinda similar to the headaches while doing stimming as my hormone's changed, still mild twinges in the stomach, hard to explain but it feels different and thirsty. I can't tell if I pee more as since we started this all I drink about 3 to 4 liters of fluids a day so I pee a lot anyway. Woke up hungry which is not normal for me, then felt a little nauseous after I ate. Still sore bb's, husband says they are sitting up and saying hi lol. From what I have read all good first signs. Trying my best to hold off doing a pos test till at least tomorrow or Friday which is day 9 and I should be producing enough hcg to tell on a test. 

Doing my daily protein Boost drink in the morning with a egg or oatmeal and afternoon fruit smoothie consisting of 100% juice blueberry/pomegranate then ice, fresh organic pineapple, some frozen berries, vanilla yogurt, little progreens or flax seed.  It's yummy, really enjoying my little blender.

Excited today for all the ladies in my groups who just announced their BFP's this week. Seems like so many of them are having success. I hope I will be next. 

Spending the afternoon watching cheezy movies on Syfy with alien bugs it's keeping my mind off of thing as they are so dumb it has me laughing. 

Thought I'd share this beautiful poem it really touched me as it captured so much how I've been feeling.

 Aching heart, empty arms

Aching heart, empty arms, broken dreams

Spinning in dizzying circles for eternity.

Hope is a bad four letter word

When it seems your prayers are not being heard.

Feeling crazy, confused, jealous and sad

Isolated, weary, discouraged and mad!

Trying to cope...

Not wanting to hope.

Withering away, slowly dying

Swollen eyes from all the crying.

Pounding heart, soaring fears, fragile soul

The hurt and pain continue to grow.

Praying to God!

Pleading with God!

Begging for God to please hear my prayers,

The disappointments I think I can no longer bear.

Trying to be patient and trust in the Lord

But I don't think my spirit can take anymore!

I want to be a mommy, I need to be..why?

Why do I feel this so strongly? Why? Why? WHY?

Screaming now, shouting for the Lord to hear

"I'm waiting, I'm trying but do you care?"

Hurting inside, feeling weak, losing faith...

More crying and pleading now starting to hate!

My mind is twisting out of control!

I need help, I need healing this I know.

But does God really listen and understand?

I'm asking again Lord, "will you please hold my hand?

This journey I'm on seems long, the terrain too rough

When will your realize I've suffered enough?"

© Lisa M. Borders - 2004

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." ~Matthew 11:28-30