Bible verses of HOPE

Hebrews 11:11 ~ “It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise.”

Luke 1:37 ~ “For with God NOTHING shall be impossible.”

Psalms 113:9 ~ He maketh the barren woman to keep house, [and to be] a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.

First PIO Injection Done

This morning started my progesterone in oil shots. In the past I always did the crinone vaginal cream for my progesterone but Dr. Kwak-Kim prefers the shots feels they are better so this time we are following her advice. They have to be given in the upper part of my hip so my husband is giving them to me. I measured it all out for him. 2cc in the morning. He did a great job administering it, we did it with me laying down on my side. The pin prick was not bad but it is sore after. I am sure not looking forward to him doing one each morning but you do what it takes to overcome this disease. I will also be doing oral progesterone at night.

 

Progesterone in an FET cycle

Once the uterine lining has been thickened sufficiently, progesterone is added. Once the progesterone is added, the Lupron may be stopped. Progesterone matures the uterine lining and makes it receptive to an embryo to implant. Once the progesterone is begun, there is a certain “window of implantation” during which the embryo must be transferred. The stage of the embryo must match the stage of development of the uterus. Therefore, the only factor that locks the patient into performing the transfer on a certain day is starting the progesterone. Once the progesterone is begun, if the embryo transfer is not performed on a certain day, the cycle must be canceled and a new preparation with hormones must be begun after allowing a period to occur. In my case we are doing transfer on the 6th day after progesterone is begun.

First Intralipid IV Treatment

Intralipids went good, the nurse was very nice and I got snacks lol. We got the IV in one poke. My bp was a little elevated 140/90 but I was pretty nervous. I was also pissed at myself that I gained 8lbs from the predisone UGH!! The lipids are cold and look like milk going in your arm. Lowered my body temp from 98 to 88. Make me really tired from my body working hard to process it all but other than that no real side effects. Read my book and talked with the nurse to pass the time. Was there around 3 hours (arrived around 1:30pm left clinic a little before 5pm) so we got home late think 8pm. The next one we may do on a Sat. so my husband won't have to take the day off. Hopefully we get a positive beta so I can do the next one!

So thankful these 3 days are over. My husband was sweet and found a health food store while he was out bumming and I was sitting in the infusion clinic and got some raspberry leaf tea for me as the acupuncturist said it was a good thing to add in yet, 3 cups a day.

Thank you for your prayers now to rest and relax for a bit till transfer day on August 5th. Right now I got it set up for acupunture from 9am-10am, then I have to drink and fill my bladder (as it has to be full for the u/s) and then transfer will happen of 2 embryo's at 11:30am. that day. 6 day countdown!!

Today was also my last day of Lupron to supress and tomorrow will be my first ever Progesterone in oil shot (which my husband is going to do in my hip) YIKES!! I got it all measured out so he can do it before he goes to work at 3:30am but I am freaking about the needle and him doing it to me. This is the part I was not looking forward to. Praying I survive it! 

RI Apt.

Finally home after a never ending long trip to IL. Up early to get ready and out the door by 9am. Made it there in time to stop for a salad for lunch which I was very thankful for since my apt went LONG as it always does. Was at the RI office from 11:15 to 2:35pm. First we did a ultrasound did several measurements of my lining. It was not as thick as my RE has it (9.36) They measured it at 7.7mm averaged. Was a little surprised in the difference but I know their u/s machine is way more high tech then the one my RE uses. They assured me that anything over 7 is good and that I still have almost a week to continue to grow it. Next we did blood flow measurements. My bf is greatly improved. Where I had 0 in Zone 3 I now have 2 which is what she wanted to see at minimum. The first time I did this u/s I scored a 6/21 and was told my uterus had a 0% of conception. With there help I am now at a 14/21 and have a 60% chance of conception. It's not as good as I would of liked to have seen it but like they told me it's over 50% better and now I have a chance.

 

My ultrasound report - from a 6 to a 14 :)

Second part was meeting with Dr. Kwak-Kim's assistant Margaret. Went over the results and I asked her my list of questions. We are going to re-test the NK Cells next week, draw blood with my RE on the 5th and overnight fedex it to them again. Make sure the predisone and intralipids are doing the job or they may up my predisone to 30 from 20mg during the 2ww.  Confirmed I have to do 2cc not 1cc of progesterone shots each morning. The Lovenox they want me to skip a dose the night before transfer then do 1 the night of transfer and then day after transfer we are going to 2x day. If all works as planned they will keep up with me on testing and will want to see me back in IL for another u/s etc. 2-3 weeks after pregnancy.

The nurse today was so nice to me she came and talked to me about her experiences that I should try not to stress she knows what it's like to mc and go through infertility but it can have a happy ending you just got to keep looking up. Gave me some much needed encouragement after a long tiring day.

Tonight I sent off the results to my RE clinic. I am not happy my RE is gone and I got the other RE now as she is not up to speed on my case and I really needed his help to monitor this all so I am just praying this works with him out. I will have to call the IVF coordinator tomorrow before we leave for Milwaukee for my Intralipids to see if I can make the apt. for transfer day times on August 5th as I want to also have the acupuncture before and after at the clinic so that has to be scheduled in with them too. 

All in all I am a big puddle of nerves, knowing this is only the beginning of what could be a long 9 months. I've done everything I can to get my body prepared for this to do the medical work, diet, exercise, I've given God my best to work with and all I can do is lay it at his feet and trust him to complete a good work in me and my husbands life.

Praying for some rest tonight my neck is not feeling the best from 2 days of in the car and one more day of travel to go. Intralipids IV, getting my book packed so I have something to do while sitting there.

Please continue to pray with us. Thank you!

RE Apt.

RE apt went great. Lining is multi-layered and 9.36. Was a little surprised when my RE told me he was going to be gone for a few weeks. He tore his acl and needs knee surgery. His wife the other RE Dr. Pritts will do my transfer instead. He's done my other 3 so kinda feels weird him not being there for it and I hope she will do as good.

Tomorrow I see what my RI in IL says about the lining and blood flow and if she agrees I call my RE office and set up date of transfer for Aug. 5th or whatever day my RI thinks it should be if she wants me to wait.

Acupuncture was awesome, enjoyed it so much. We did cupping on my shoulder to help the pain and it sure did, although it's going to leave some nice bruising for a few weeks lol. Then we did a bunch of points on the belly, legs and arms. Followed by Moxa heat session which is so relaxing and warm. Then they showed me how I can do the Moxa at home light it and go over my belly and a few other points to continue to bring warmth and stimulate blood flow. Think I was there 2hrs. Got a few supplies from them Moxa sticks you light and hold over areas to warm and Mugwort salve to also rub on my belly to increase blood flow continue to help the clotting issue. Told my dh he can play Doctor - he he he ;)

Very tired now going to relax catch up on FB and go to bed so I can be ready for the long day tomorrow.

My cupping marks - going to have some nice bruises for awhile but it sure helps the pain

Rub on belly, wrists, ankles help increase blood flow

Moxa sticks to light and go over my belly to also increase warmth and flow of blood

Thoughts along the way ...

7/17 - Little strange that we are suppressing my ovaries with lupron but today I had a ton of egg white cm like I would be ovulating - not sure how this suppressing then adding back in hormones works since it's my first FET - On 3 pills a day of estrogen since Sunday - I can say I like it that I am not bloated with eggs that part is so much better than a fresh IVF. Got my apt for intralipids IV set up today for July 30th got to be at the Coram infusion center in New Berlin, WI between 1-2pm. Bought a good book to read while sitting there for 2-3 hrs. 

7/18 - Was hard to get down all 4 liters of water today. Been adding in some powdered gatorade to help but making it weak as to not get so much sugar. Tried to find coconut water last shopping trip and didn't see it will have to look again this weekend. 

7/19 - Today I start in on Lovenox blood thinners. Will be doing two shots a day now. So far belly is not too bruised up yet. I know when I do acupuncture it's weird to have the needles in my belly too and lie there showing all my shot marks lol. Still very fatiqued. Continuing to do my hemp protein powder, dynamic greens, flax seed drinks to help.  

Green Drink Stuff - just add to juice and blend

 

7/21 -

  

Fertility Acupuncture today. We did quite a few spots from feet to belly to ears and followed with more of the moxi heat to keep blood flowing. She said my pulse was less muffled today so the meds for the clotting must be kicking in. She takes her time so I was there almost hour and 1/2. Very relaxing. She also gave me some cream to put on after I do my shot of Lovenox to help the bruising and bump it leaves. Hope it helps as I am bruising up a lot now.

Weird metallic taste in my mouth after my lovenox shot - also been craving red sweet onions of all things, I never usually like onions but had them on salad etc and keep wanting more lol. 

7/23 - All kinds of crampy today not felt right since last night - doing my follow up chem panel tomorrow hope it comes back ok this time around been doing my best to drink more fluids - last time they said I was dehydrated - just wish I didn't feel so blah

7/ 24 - Was a busy day. Did my blood work up for thyroid and chemistry panel. The lovenox has to be kicking in as we had to do a compression wrap on my arm to get the poke from the blood draw to stop bleeding. Kinda makes me think I better be careful not to cut myself right now. I did run into something and hit my ankle and it's turning a nice shade of purple. EWCM is increasing much more than any IVF cycle so the estrogen must be doing it's job of making a healthy lining. Will find out Sunday if it's getting where it needs to be when I see my RE. Also had a upper back/neck massage stretch today to loosen up. Been having so much pain in my left shoulder from the damage of a car accident. Did a chiropractor adjustment to and one on Friday to help push it in place, don't want anything to be blocking good healthy blood flow and energy flow. The Lovenox bruises are getting bigger and more painful I really dread that shot every day. PIO is coming up soon too oh the joy of what I got to go through to conceive and overcome this disease. Getting closer to the goal. After almost 2yrs of planning for this and working hard to get here it's almost time. 

Lovenox bruising only the beginning too

7/25 - End of another day - made it a week of doing Lovenox shots. If this all works I only got 9 more months to go lol. Got to keep swimming I can do it.

so pretty - NOT!

7/26 - Had a nice day with my mom doing errands. Got my new glasses picked up, new look as I've never had one's without frame part on the bottom. Had to go back to the chiropractor been having some bad pain in my left shoulder old car accident injuries, did some more adjusting and massage on it to try and help. Tonight I survived my lovenox shot better, I think I've been doing them too close together so going to try and space them out more see if I get less bruising in one spot.

New glasses :)

7/27 - 8am tomorrow is RE apt. so nervous that my lining is ok and estrogen levels where they want them - have to be up at 4am so we can leave by 6ish. Acupuncture at 11:30 in the same town. Then plan is to come home and get ready for trip to IL on Monday need to leave by 9am at the latest. We are going to forgo the hotel I guess Scott feels paying the $106 for one night is not going to save us much on gas, figures gas be only $50 it would of saved us 3hrs of drive time so I don't know if I agree with him all the way but.... Tues. we go to the infusion clinic leave in the morning and that will take a few hours and then hope to do dinner with my HS friend who lives close to the infusion clinic. Going to be a long few days hope this shoulder of mine behaves as it's been acting up again. UGH! Keep us in prayers for safe travels and that my RE and RI think everything is good to go.

Upcoming Dr. Apt's

Organizing for our Dr. trips. 

Have my RE Dr. Olive (about 2hr one way trip) on Sunday followed by acupuncture in Madison WI. Monday we go do see my RI Dr. Kwak-kim (3-3 1/2hr one way trip) in Vernon hills IL. then Tuesday I have to be at the infusion center for Intralipids IV (1 1/2hr one way trip) near Milwaukee WI. Been contemplating a hotel for Monday night to help cut down on the driving to chicago area one day then next day driving 1/2 way down again but so far hotels are so expensive all in that area that not sure if it would even save us to do so, except it be nice to sit in a hot tub and relax a bit. All this travel is going to make for one very tired out me. Hoping it all goes well and no delays for our tentative transfer day of August 5th.

A good link with info on the Intralipids IV 

MC/Loss

Read this today and wanted to share ... Touched me thinking about our losses and all we have gone through on this journey.

"Miscarriages are labour, miscarriages are birth. To consider them less dishonours the woman whose womb has held life, however briefly." (Unsure of author)

Lovenox Injections

Started my first Lovenox injection last night. This will be my first cycle using this drug. When I did all the testing with Dr. Kwak-Kim I tested positive for the PAI-1 and Factor XIII blood clotting gene. Most likely this is the leading cause of my mc or failed implantation issues. So I am thankful I am able to do this drug this time around and really hope it helps. I go back down to chicago on July 29th to see Dr. K and do another blood flow u/s that will tell her how well it is working and adjust dosage before transfer day. 

The shot was a little painful, for the one today I am going to try and ice it and administer it more slowly to help prevent so much bruising on my stomach. Posting a video below of someone doing a shot of Lovenox. If this FET is successful I will continue on this medication all through out pregnancy.

Benefits of Lovenox:
It an anti-coagulant that is administered through injections and there are several reasons for its effectiveness as a treatment for multiple miscarriages:

• Prevents the formation of blood clots in the embryo and placenta.
• Increases the production of cellular substances that are important in the implantation process.
• Increases insulin-like growth factor at the site of implantation.
• Increases production of a protein that assists in binding the early embryo to the lining of the uterus.
• Has suppressive effects on the immunologic causes of recurrent miscarriage.

Why you may need Lovenox?:
Some women absolutely NEED it in order to PREVENT a miscarriage (or their own stroke, or heart attack, or DVT, etc.) To be technical, baby aspirin is a blood thinner and heparin/Lovenox is an anti-coagulant. They perform two different, equally important functions for thrombophilia patients. Both are out of your system within roughly 24 hours. That's why baby aspirin is taken daily and heparin/Lovenox as often as twice daily during pg. Hundreds of thousands of women have had successful pregnancies using these meds. People don't just take heparin/Lovenox because they hope it will help; they take it because they've been diagnosed with at least one form of thrombophilia (Factor V Leiden, Factor II Prothrombin, MTHFR, APA's), which means their blood has an increased risk of clot. Thus, they would be endangering both their babies and themselves if they DIDN'T take the meds.

He's Able

"He's Able"
(feat. Darwin Hobbs / Voices Of Unity)

[Leader:]
Exceedingly, Abundantly
Above all, all you could ask or think
According to, the power
That worketh in you, you...
God is able to do just what he said he would do
He's gonna fulfill every promise to you
Don't give up on god, cause he won't give up on you
He's able

[Chorus: x2]
God is able to do just what he said he would do
He's gonna fulfill every promise to you
Don't give up on god, cause he won't give up on you
He's able [x2]

[Leader:]
Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh
He's able

[Bridge: x3]
Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh
He's able

[Leader:]
Here we go, He's able

[Vamp: choir]
He's able

[Leader:]
He's able yes he is
I've tried him, anybody tired him
He's able[x2]
Whatever he said, he's gonna do it,
Whatever he promised, he's gonna do it
He's able [x4]
I've tried him
He's able [x3]
Somebody sing it, he's able, yes he is
He's able, yes he is, he's able, how many know, he's able
He's not a man, that he'd lie
Whatever he said he's gonna do it

[Leader:]
Don't give up on god [x2]
Anybody ever wanted to give up
Has anybody ever wanted to throw in the towel
Anybody know god to be able
Don't give up on god, and he won't give up on you
He's able

[Leader:]
If you know he's able tonight give him apraise
If you know he's able
Everybody say, oh

[Ending:]
Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, he's able
He's able [til fade]

 

 

A day of Rainbows

Today was a day of rainbows - saw one on the way home this afternoon a full one all bright in the sky - then tonight there was a partial one right in front of our house - told dh maybe it's a sign! God's promise to come. I really hope so! 

 

 

Latest Test Results

Got my test results today from latest NK Cells (all the blood I sent to Chicago last week).

Have to up my predisone. The numbers did go down a bit but not enough so upping to 20mg and hoping between that and the lipids it goes down more before transfer.

On a great note my PAI-1 gene (blood clotting issue) came back down to normal, think the supplements must be working. YAY! PAI-1 was 75 (norm 75-140) before it was way over 100. Adding in the Lovenox for this also on Friday so this will thin the blood more.

Thyroid came back down to TSH 1.50 after it had elevated last 2 weeks.

My chem panel showed I am dehydrated even with drinking 2 -3 liters a day so I have to add in gatorade and more water - I will be drowning. It's also been really hot here so I am sure that is part of the issue. Have to repeat chem panel next week.

NK assay after predisone and supplements:
50:1 29.9 should be 15 or less (was 37.7)
cd56 11.6 should be 12 or less

Th1/Th2 cytokines:
TNF 37.7 should be 30.6 or less (was 44.5)
IFN 19.0 should be 20.5 or less

Week 3 FET

Very relieved that today's apt with my RE went well, estrogen came down since I got AF this last week and he told me to start on estrogen pills today, Lovenox shots for blood clotting will begin on Friday, and still on Predisone 10mg and Lupron 10mg shots. Goal now is to build my lining and create a non hostile uterous with good blood flow and decreased overactive immune system.

Also did my first fertility acupuncture today with a new place (Red Sage Health) and it went well. Did some stimulating points and some moxi heat on the needles to stimulate blood flow. I have muffled blood flow pulse which goes hand in hand with my diagnosis of clotting issues. Will go again next week Sunday. So like 3 times before transfer then she will also come to the clinic and do a session before and after my transfer. Think it will help. Wish I could afford to do more but some has to be better than none.

Finally things are moving along for this FET :)

A Prayer To Conceive, Read Daily!

Desire To Conceive, Fulfillment Over Barrenness

Father, we thank You that children are the heritage of the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is His reward. Children are Your idea, Father; You thought up children, and family, and home. You instituted the family in the Garden of Eden. You ordered children; You commanded them when You said to Adam and Eve, "Be frutiful and multiply." You said that the barren womb is never satisfied. Lord, the Word declars that I am wonderfully and fearfully made by You; therefore, I'm perfect and able to conceive and have children. You said that I/my wife would be a fruitiful vine by the side of our house and our children like olive plants around our table We are not ashamed but happy because our quiver is full of children (or arrows, as You call them).

Thank you, Father, that You designed and fashioned me/her, to have children, that in the Bible barreness was the excption, not the rule, not Your will, not normal, something against Your plan and purpose. And in Your goodness and faithfulness every barrren woman in the Bible who was goldly and believed Your Word became pregnant; You opened her womb and bless her, and she gave birth to a precious baby just as I/she will. You make the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children.

You said, Father, that because You are our God and we are Your people and have a convenant with You that You will love us and bless us and multiply us and bless the fruit of my/her womb and that neither male nor female among Your people would be barren. Father, we are redeemed form the curse of the Law by Jesus, and being barren is under the curse of the Law; therefore, we will receive from Your grace and have children.


Father, no plague, no evil shall come nigh our dwelling. We are healed by the stripes of Jesus. Sickness of any kind is taken out of our midst. You said to ask anyting of You in Jesus' name and it would be done; and that if two of us on eather agree as touching anything it would be done. So we pray and we agree with You and Your Word, Father, that we will conceve and bring forth a healthy, precious baby to Your glory and honor. We pray all this according to Your Word and will. You said, This is the confidence that we have in You, that if we ask anything according to Your will, You hear us; and if You hear us, we know we have the petition we desire of You, We have it now. Thank, Father, in Jesus' name.


Now, talk to your body:

Bodies, we speak to you in Jesus' name; You will come in line and agreement with the Word of God. You will respond to His holy Word. You will function properly and perfectly, the way God inteded you to. Every part, every organ of our reproductive system conforms to the Word and plan of God as we come together in pure, martial love. Body, conceive! Be pregnant. Cooperate with God's plan; perfect ovulation, release of perfect eggs from the ovaries, thorugh the fallopian tubes, penetrated and impregnated, fertilized by healthy sperm.

Good solid attachment to uterine wall and nourished and protected for nine months (40 weeks) unharmed and unhindered. Grow to a perfect baby - spirit, soul, and body. Your Word says, Father, that none shall cast their young, nor be barren amount Your people and the number of our days You will fulfill. This pregnancy will be fulfilled. We decree it in Jesus' name and receive God's best; we won't settle for anything less in Jesus' holy name. Thank You, Lord, that it is so and done to Your honor and Glory. Amen.

A Special Prayer For A Woman Facing Infertility And Desires A Child From God

A Special Prayer For A Woman Facing Infertility And Desires A Child From God
 By Veronica Anusionwu

Praise be to the Lord, my God who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to me. I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from all my enemies, including infertility.

"The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God, my Rock and my Savior! For great is the Lord and most worthy of praise. He is to be feared above all gods.

I sing to him, I sing praise to him. I tell of all his wonderful acts. I speak my faith out; I will not keep quiet anymore. Praise be to the Lord today, for he has given me a child of my own. I speak my faith out.

God said, "Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, Psalm 107:2. I say it now in faith, Praise be to the Lord my God, who has delighted in me and placed a live and healthy baby in my womb. I am redeemed from infertility and barrenness. Praise the Lord.

Because of the Lord's eternal love for me I am now a happy mother of children. Praise be to the Lord my God from everlasting to everlasting.

The Bible says, "God gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were," Romans 4: 17. I am calling the things that are not as though they were, because God's word says I must do so. This is how God Himself creates. Praise the Lord. I am still speaking out in faith, I am now a happy mother of children.

Your word Father, imparts faith in my heart. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations. I will sing praises to your name. Your word is good Oh God. You said in your word "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose," Romans 8:28.

Because I am called according to your purpose which includes bringing children into the world. All things are working for my good. I am still speaking out in faith, I am now a happy mother of children.

Father, I praise you, for you have wonderfully and skillfully created me as a woman to fulfill that specific purpose of carrying a child in my womb. I give you praise for you, Almighty God, are exalted above the heavens.

Who is like the Lord my God? Who stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth? And to "settle the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children". You My Lord have stooped to crown my womanhood with motherhood. I speak it out loud and clear "I am a happy mother of children". God said if I say it he will create it. Lord I speak my faith out. Thank you for creating it in Jesus name.

With praise and thanksgiving in my heart I sing to You Lord. You are good and your love for me endures forever. Exceedingly abundant God, you are able to do immeasurably more than all I can ask or imagine, according to your power that is at work within me. I declare and announce it in faith; you have blessed me with a child of my own. To you be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!

Because I trust in your word, I am able to rest in your great and precious promises. I declare myself a partaker in the divine nature of God. I have escaped the corruption in the world caused by infertility and other evil things that is happening in the world today. I am still speaking out in faith- I am now a happy mother of children.

Lord I have read your word and seen examples of women like Hannah and Rachel, who faced infertility. But you opened their wombs and blessed them with miracle children. You have done the same for me.

I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonders, Psalm 9:1I. I am so encouraged when I remember your word which tells me that, "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him," Psalms 127:3.

Your word assures me that the fruit of the womb is a reward from you Lord. Be exalted, O Lord, in your strength. I will sing and praise your might, Psalm 21:13. I receive my own reward of the fruit of the womb from you Lord.

Thank you, Father for all you are teaching me as I wait upon you. Your ways are perfect my God. I cast all my cares upon you because I know you care for me. I will give thanks to YOU Lord because of your righteousness and will sing praise to your name Most High God.

I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from infertility and miscarriage. The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Savior! Psalm 18:46.

God I know you have seen all my pains and tears. Your word says, "Weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning." I have stopped crying.

I wipe away my tears, for in Christ all things are possible to those that believe. I choose to embrace the truths written in your word and declare it by faith out of my mouth. My joy has come, I am still speaking out in faith, I am now a happy mother of children.

Because you O Lord are true, and your Word is not void of power neither can it fail to accomplish what it has been sent to do in my life.

No good thing will God withhold from me, because my walk is blameless. I am still speaking my faith out, "I am a happy mother of children".

Lord Jesus I surrender my life to you. Take me and use me as a vessel of honour. You created me as a woman to carry children in my womb.

Father, I thank-you for creating me as a woman to fulfill your plans and purpose on this earth, including motherhood.

I thank you because this will surely come to pass in Jesus' Name. Amen.

When it seems too late don't give up. Say this prayer..

"God, I have prayed for years. I have done everything I know to do in order to see my dreams come true. I have had seasons of working hard and seasons of "letting go and letting God" and, still, the things I have believed You for seem like they will never happen. ... I have had one disappointment after another. And it's almost too late. God do not let me miss my destiny! But do not let me hope for things that are not a part of Your plans for my life. Let me hear Your voice telling me what You really have for me. Give me a glimpse of the gifts You have for me so that I might fight with faith to apprehend Your promises. Help me to understand the difference between what I must go after and what I must wait on You for. When it is up to me, give me the strength to demolish doubt and to march fearlessly into the new day You have prepared for me. When I must wait on You, give me grace and patience. Fill me with holy anticipation that accompanies a perfect timed present. They say You are never, ever late. God in these days when it seems like time is pressing in around me on every side, keep me firm in faith. Save me from giving up. Don't let me stop short of my blessing. Thank You for being faithful. Always faithful. It is never too late with you. Amen"... T D Jakes

RE Apt. - Everything Delayed by a Week :(

BAD NEWS - Everything is now delayed by a week. My estrogen levels are still too high where like 97.8 guess that is too high. So I have to change everything by a week later. Up my Lupron to 20mg a day and go back on Sunday (he said Monday but I am going to try to see if they will do Sunday cause I got acupuncture in the same town as my RE on Sunday and don't want to do two trips). Had to message Dr. K tell her about the bad news and find out if she wants me to change my apt with her to a week later. My husband now has to try and change vacation days too which is really hard to get off at his work and I can not drive to IL or Milwaukee without him when we get to that point. I am so frustrated why can my body not do what it needs to do!! Nothing can go right for me always a road block. No idea what will happen if my estrogen is not low enough by Sunday?, if that will mean more delays. About to break down and cry right now :(

I also did my CD1 blood work for Dr. K this morning. Some of it went in the container you see above and I Fedex it overnight to her lab in Chicago cause it was suppose to be cycle day 1 today and now it's not so that is all messed up as I didn't find this out till later today. 

 

Update 7/10 - Thankfully Dr. K nurse said it was alright we did the blood work a little early they can still use the results. I spent yesterday changing all my Dr. apt. Transfer is now looking to be August 5th. AF showed up today so I am sure that will help lower my estrogen levels. I go back Sunday to RE for E2 check and first acupuncture apt.with a lady near my RE's office. The extra lupron is making me so tired though but hopefully it's working.

Week 2

Dr. Kwak-Kim has been doing weekly monitoring of my thyroid. Last week it jumped up past two and I had to up my synthroid. Seems to have come down some this week. Hope it continues to drop or I am sure she will up my meds again to keep it under two.

Last weeks TSH 2.71 FT3 3.61 FT4 1.21
This weeks TSH 2.36 FT3 2.57 FT4 1.23

Shots are going good. The Lupron is pretty easy to measure out and administer. So far worst side effects is headaches and feeling tired. Predisone has me feeling like the munchies so I've had to be careful to not gain weight. Trying to walk at least 30min a day.

Been a hard week emotionally. If we had not mc in November we would of been due this week. It's hard not to think of the what if's and wonder what your child would of been like. Just praying that by this time next year my tears will be turned to joy.