So it Begins

September 9, 2011 - First IVF appointment finally.

The day started early for us. The fertility clinic is a good hour and 1/2 drive one way. I have a real fear of driving in a lot of traffic due to being a innocent passenger in a few car accidents, so my wonderful husband's job in all this (besides providing his DNA lol) is to be my chauffeur to and from appointments while I try to close my eyes, stay calm, keep my mouth closed, lol, when we hit the beltline bumper to bumper early morning traffic. It will be one of the challenges of going through IVF getting to the clinic every few days and getting back in time for him to make it to work.

I never thought when we began this all last year that we'd be at the point of going through something like this. I guess I figured we get a little help, take a few meds and it be ok. To get to the point when your only option now is to pump yourself full of medications, look forward to being hormonal, sick from side effects, driving to and fro, and spending every extra penny on trying to have a child does sometimes make us stop and wonder, are we CRAZY?? I know many people think we are, don't understand, feel lead to judge or make rude comments, or even stop wanting to be our friends. But then I see a family together, a Mom, Dad and new baby shopping in a store, or out at a restaurant or even a commercial on TV and I think I want that, I want family, I want to love that little baby, teach them, nurture them, watch them grow. Grand kids, holidays together the whole nine yards. I don't know if IVF will make our dream of that come to pass only God does. He's already worked though much healing and changes in our life together as a couple to bring us to this point. All along the way he has provided what we have needed to keep going with treatment. I trust he has a plan, a plan for our good. Even though man is helping the process, though wisdom of science God has given us, only He is the creator. 

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". - Jeremiah 29:11

We actually arrived early at the clinic for once, was able to get things all squared away with the financial part first thing. Our clinic had a new financial employee who thought it was impressive how well covered we are for doing fertility things. She had me call to confirm things again, which I did just to amuse her, but ya it was all correct. I think everyone should have the means to be able to get help when your body does not work right, but many are not as lucky as we have been to have insurance coverage. Even through my husbands struggles to work in a factory job, the toll it has taken on him physically, (I have such a good husband) I see God's hand in it, providing what we needed for this time in our lives. Most other companies would not offer coverage or if they do very little and here we are blessed with a insurance that even covers IVF and the medications. A procedure that can be over $11,000 plus $3 to 5,000 in medications. I am deeply thankful.

Then it was on to embryo practice transfer. At a previous appointment they had told me it would be similiar to doing an IUI. Well it was similiar in them using a tube but not similiar in also needing to do an external ultrasound. One thing I found is the explanation of what is going on is not in the forfront of Dr.'s minds. It's like they know what needs to get done, so they come in do their thing and go on to the next patient. Not thinking that this is your first time, your nervous, little stressed, not sure what to expect. It would be nice if Dr.'s would take a few minutes to ask how you are, this is what we are going to do, ease you into it. I mean they already got you in a compromising uncomfortable position, feeling exposed the least they could do is explain what the heck they are shoving in you!

For the procedure, I was suppose to have a full bladder so I drank water on the way there and another glass in the waiting room thinking that would be enough. Got into the room and they asked me how full I felt. I said pretty full and they handed me 4 more glasses to drink just to make sure, paper to read and sign of all the what ifs, and said be back in ten minutes. Ten minutes turned into 1/2 hour later (began to wonder if they where giving me time to reconsider after reading 3 pages of what ifs?) they return and do a ultrasound on my bladder and it still did not fill up all the way. By that time I was getting pretty stressed. My husband needed to be at work soon the plan being to be out of there by 10am was not happening. The 45min apt. was turning into over an hour. I wish they would of explained better how FULL of a bladder I needed before the appointment.(They need it full so they can see where the tube is going) I got them to take my blood while I waited more and the nurse finally got the Dr. to ask him what he thought and he said he could do the practice on a 2/3 full bladder, we start in and my bladder decides to fill up during it, you could see it on the ultrasound. (now you decide to fill up, really!) Told me to remember what that full feeling was like (um ya sure I'll remember that) and on the real transfer day to start drinking earlier and try some decaf coffee cause my bladder fills slow. All I could think about is how am I going to hold it after the transfer while laying there for 30min or so? Vaginal ultrasound was next, Dr. asks if I want to use the bathroom before I'm like I can hold it let's get this done. Why you ask cause I'm lying legs in stirrups seemed like ultrasound goo was everywhere, 2 nurses and the Dr. all trying to get my bladder full, observe the practice transfer and you want me to get dressed then come back and be in this position again? lol  After a quick in and out, no follicles, lining thin. I was left to put myself back together only to think I have to return and do this again in a few days...sigh!

Thankfully we made it in time to drop off my husband at work with no speeding tickets. :)

Later that day I found out my estrogen was at 35 guess that was good needed to be 50 or below. All was well and we was approved for shots. 375iu of Follistem to be exact. I had to carefully watch the instructional video and assemble the device that hopefully will lead to creating beautiful eggs. The worse part about giving yourself a shot each day is the mental part before you plunge in the needle. It really didn't hurt once you take that plunge I just click the pen slowly wait 5 seconds pull out, remove needle and dispose of it in my handy little container they provide you with and your all done till the next night. 

3 days of poking then back to the clinic we will go 8am Monday morning to see how I respond, ultrasound and blood once again. Kinda like rinse and repeat for the next 9 to 14 days. Grow eggs grow ....