IVF Cycle Two - 1DP5DT

What a day ... trying to sort out all my feelings, emotions and keep my eyes focused on God through this wait.

It's been a long day of wonder after getting a call that none of the rest of our embryo's turned into blastocyst's to freeze. I then e-mailed the Dr. to ask why that was and why do they only freeze them if they make it to the blastocyst stage. This is what they replied...

"Based upon our lab results, if the embryos don't make it to excellent quality by day 6 then they don't survive a freeze and thaw, let alone create a pregnancy. I think it is a disservice to freeze embryos that won't even survive a thaw, and I see labs doing it all the time. It certainly creates another charge for the patient. And I saw your 3 from yesterday, I think they looked really good, but we won't know for sure for a bit of time. I know this is hard, and we were pretty sad about your case when we talked about it today. I also think there is an egg quality issue at this point, otherwise, those embryos would have been good enough quality to freeze. Hang in there, we are all cheering for you here"

A possible egg quality issue wasn't something I expected to hear but after thinking on it for awhile, the results of last cycle how the embryo fizzled out then the eggs not being mature like we expected from the ultrasound this cycle that it could be real possibility. I had thought maybe it was just immune issues not this. It made me sad and mad at myself that I waited so long to find a RE being that I am almost 38 now. I know there is options like egg donors, embryo adoption for us too if need be.

After awhile of thinking, praying on this I guess all I can do is trust in God that one of the 3 embryo's we transferred yesterday will not only stick this time but be genetically well formed, grow and stay for 9months. I need all the prayers I can get right now so please keep praying for Gods blessing on my womb and embryo's. I did have a bought of dizziness today and some mild back cramping stomach twinges for a little bit so I pray that is a good sign of good news soon.

Prayer: Heavenly Father I thank you for this week of thanksgiving, for the many blessings you have given my family, you always provide for our needs, I thank you for a loving husband, a warm home, food on the table, bills paid when so many go without. I pray Lord for all my ttc friends, I am thankful for getting to know so many wonderful ladies on FB support groups all over the world, show me how I can be a blessing to them through my life. Today was a difficult day Lord, it is hard to understand why having a child is so hard for us when for others it is so easy. Our home is so empty but our hearts so full of love to give, things we want to teach. I'm believing in your promises that you want to bless us with the desires of our hearts. Watch over our embryo's in my womb allow them to continue to grow divide the right way implant and thrive. Allow us to become parents 9months from now grant us a Christmas miracle. I ask this all in your precious son's name amen.

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