Didn't get the news I was hoping for today. :( Even though this cycle looked so much better and more promising when they looked at my eggs in the lab only 4 of the 18 (they told me 17 yesterday was really 18) where mature and a M-2 level, 12 where M-1 and 2 - No good.
They fertilized the 4 mature one's with ICSI right away. Let the 12 other eggs mature a little more in the lab to M-2 and did ICSI on them later in the day. As of 8am this morning we only have 6 fertilized eggs, 4 that where mature and then 2 that matured from the other batch. Dr. called around 12:30 today said there maybe more by tomorrow out of the 12 late bloomers that fertilize they will let me know Friday.
Dr. was so surprised he doesn't understand what went wrong this time. My labs where good, the ultrasounds showed better mature eggs. He was just as upset about it all as I am feeling. It was so nice of him to be the one to call me instead of the lab tech I could really tell how much he cared.
Trying not to break down and cry right now. Just so upset what is wrong with me, why don't I work right?
Really need prayers that the 6 we have so far will divide correctly as if they don't we may not even make it to a transfer with any fresh but do have 2 frozen from last cycle if it comes to it.
Will find out more tomorrow if he wants to do a 3 or 5 day depending on if they develop start dividing the right way. Guess it's just pray, wait and believe that at least one of them is our miracle baby.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, I am so anxious right now, take away this fear that is not of you. You are a God of love, order and control. I believe you have a plan, I put my trust in you. Calm the soaring waters with peace in my heart. Watch over our embryo's, I know you are creating our baby right now dividing those cells, no fragmentation or genetic problems, healthy embryo's for transfer. You know our deep desire for a child a little one to love and to hold, to care for, to cherish. Grant that my body may conceive and give birth to a beautiful, healthy baby. God, I am putting this cycle in your hands. Only you can give life. I'm placing my embryos in your hands – please bless them with life. ...
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, Lean NOT on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path."
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