IVF#4 2DP5DT

New Years Eve. Had a fun day at the movies saw The Hobbit then we got out in time and decided to do 47 Ronin too - loved them both - then went and had dinner at Ponderosa New Years Buffet, ate tons of crab legs lol. Scott's friend Joe came with us was nice. 

Bummer is my back is killing me now from sitting and the cold, in a ton of pain. It is so cold here it's making my fibro flare up bad and I can only take tylenol for it too :( Going to bed. not staying up till midnight, as we have to be at my mom's in the morning for our Christmas get-together. Tried not to think about the what ifs today but it was hard. I feel down, worried that nothing is happening again. 

I think of all I have gone through this past year the journey of ttc, testing, apt. procedures, etc. My hips are hurting from the PIO and my leg where I stabbed myself this morning, my tummy is black and blue and sore, I am bloated/swollen from all the Predisone I can hardly fit into my jeans and all I can think is this is it, can it just be time now God please! I had thought at the end of 2013 we would of had a better year. 

I can not but help to think of our baby Uri we lost last year and how he/she would of been almost 6 months now had our first holiday season together. I had told myself after that loss that it was ok cause by the end of this year I'd be pregnant again but it did not work that way. 2014 needs to be a better year and needs to be our time! I so yearn to feel that joy I had for but a brief few weeks again and I don't want to let my husband down again, please God not again, please let this year be a start of something wonderful for us. PLEASE hear our prayers!