LOST

I always say when it rains is pours. Yesterday I let myself grieve this not working again and was ready to pick up the pieces and put together a new plan and go forward with another try. My RE has been out due to surgery but I was reassured the other RE would be fine with helping me do another cycle. I have Dr. Kwak on my case too and she will advise on anything she wants to change on what she is handling. Well one of the things that Dr. K will not do is prescribe Intralipids IV infusions (what I need to lower my NK killer cells so they don't attack the embryo's) she feels IVIG (a blood product) is better (but I was denied coverage for it) so Intralipids are a synthetic alternative to IVIG and much cheaper. My RE in WI agreed to help me and prescribed two dosages for me this past FET cycle. I gave him all the studies and he talked with Coram Infusions where I go to have it done and seemed to be all ok with this protocol. I was told today that neither him nor the other RE will prescribe the Intralipids for me again for this new FET cycle. They would not tell me why all the way and pulled out the our lawyers said it was unsafe card. Needless to say I am livid. I finally found a plan, it was working my numbers came down and the second cycle should be even better than the first and now my RE says nope I won't help you with any immune protocol the only thing I will do is transfer your embryo's. Get someone else to do it. I am so stressed over this I can not eat, I can not think, I physically and mentally am wiped out. Why would they do this to me? I went today and had my second Intralipids Infusion before they would not let me do that one. I was to do it if I got pregnant but figured since it worked go do either way to prep for the next cycle. Now it seems I won't be able to do it again putting me at risk of mc. Monday morning I am going to start calling around other RE's and see if anyone else is willing to work with me and be ok with prescribing intralipids and working with Dr. Kwak as a consultant on my case. I don't know what else to do. Dr. Kwak also wants me to do endometrial scratching after I get my period and my RE should do it but he won't either. What is going on God enough is enough!!


8-16 - After many sleepless hours of trying to figure out what to do. I am looking another clinic right now. Inquiring if they agree with a immune protocol and intralipids and how/if I can transfer embryo's for a FET with them. Sent them a message to begin the conversation. If I can't transfer embryo's and it's just too costly. Then my only other option is to see if a third Dr. like my family one or my obgyn can help me out with the scratching and intralipids and grin and bear it thru another cycle with the old RE or I should say his wife. 

8-18 - Well there goes my idea of working with another clinic. Just got a message from one I contacted and nope we can not transfer embryo's and most all clinics won't allow it they told me you have to stay with the one they are at. And they won't work with Dr. K. There goes that. Back to being screwed. So stressed am physically sick over this all right now. 

8-19 - Going to go see my family Dr. next week wed. Try to explain the whole situation to him (he is already aware of some of it) and see if he will be willing to continue my prescription of Intralipids for the next FET round. Otherwise I guess I am out of options and will have to do it without. The Intralipids are such a crucial part of my treatment plan and did wonders in lowering my NK killer cells so without them I take the risk again of my body attacking the embryo's and/or mc. So please pray that my family Dr. will be my saving grace in this all. I really need a break and something to work out right.