1yr Anv of First Transfer

It's a happy day in that we get to celebrate our 11th anv but also a sad day remembering 1yr ago we did our first IVF transfer on our 10th anv so hopeful and excited only to end in a early mc a few weeks later.

Christmas is going to be even harder I think as we did our 3rd transfer that day. The second one I don't think about too much as it was a bfn it's the other two that hit home knowing they worked but we mc. I wish they had fallen on different days so I don't have to think about this now. 

Still hoping to have a good anv going to take a drive then do dinner. I don't want to be grumpy again today but it's kinda hard not to be and not to think about they baby I should be holding in my arms right now. 

I know our family doesn't get the pain we feel that makes it even harder. I try to be strong but it's getting harder and harder to hold on. Most days I don't ever see us being parents and the pain of it cuts deep. I am  happy for my fellow IF sisters who go on to get bfp's and have beautiful families and I love being there for their support, I just wish God would also bless us so that when I keep telling them to hold on that God will keep his promises I can feel it is true.