Saying Goodbye to Baby Hubbard

It's with a heavy heart I have to take a moment to share with you all that Oct. 21st 2012 Scott and I had the best moment of our lives and experienced after 10yrs of IF a natural pregnancy. Two lines on a pregnancy test something we had never seen even when we did IVF and where told by a beta we where preg. We had not been doing any treatments this year and where so happy that God saw to bless us in this way. We thought this was our miracle a Christmas blessing.




All was well at 5wks good beta and progesterone numbers and u/s showed one healthy bean.



Today we had our 7wk u/s and found out that baby hubbard died at 6wks. This was the farthest I have ever gotten in a pregnancy. We are pretty devastated and have not even shared with family we where pregnant as we had wanted to wait for a Christmas surprise.

I have not mc yet we are praying it happens quickly and soon. This is the 4th angel baby we now have waiting for us in heaven.





Thank you all for your prayers. We will keep on fighting IF we still will continue saving and fundraising for testing to find out why I mc and for a future FET. Our goal continues to be to raise the $6800 we need to continue treatment. If you feel led to help I have a fundraising page with items I make and sell at the link above in my blog.

God still has a plan and we will continue to Believe!!!!  I still believe it is God's will for us to parents in this life or the next.

Family please understand that I don't know if I will be up emotionally to celebrating any holidays this year. Does not mean I don't care for you all but I need time and space.

Friends thanks for your continued support. I know nothing right now will heal this pain in my heart but time.

Goodby Baby Hubbard: For a few brief weeks I felt you grow, you made me feel like puking lol, I prayed for your future, you gave me hope. I will never get to hold you to see your smile and hold your hand as you grow. My heart hurts. I don't know why God has taken you home too soon. Hug your siblings for me and I pray we will meet up in heaven and be a family there. 

Remembrance Day

 

Today I will be lighting a candle at 7pm with so many other ladies around the world, in remembrance of our two angel babies (10/15/2011 and 01/10/2012).  We never got to know you but we will always love you and know that one day in heaven we will get to finally meet you.

"Do not be grieved and depressed, for the JOY of the LORD is your STRENGTH and STRONGHOLD!!" ~ Nehemiah 8:10

Still Waiting ....

The 14th of this month was my due date. Reading thru my blog today makes all the emotions come back. I think about what he/she would of been and why? It will be a hard weekend for me. Not to mention a hard holiday year too many memories of all the joy and excitement of last year to the letdown and pain of now. We have so far yet to go to reach our $ goal of doing our FET, I think of our snowflakes all the time, praying we can transfer some this next year. I know God hears prayers and has answered so many of my friends I would just like him to answer ours. And please don't tell us about God's will, or to adopt etc. We have snowflakes waiting for us it's just a matter of money and that part sucks! I am thankful for what God has done in the waiting for the friends I have made and the ministry of HBW. I am thankful for each of you who get your bfp's. But time for us is running out and that makes me sad. To never know a child call you mommy to feel their little arms wrap around your neck, see them get married, have grandchildren, to be alone if my dh passes before me is not a place I thought I would ever be in. 10yrs of struggle, 10yrs of prayer, 10yrs of still being faithful, 10yrs of others telling us they see us having kids prophetic words that have never come to pass, how much longer Lord can you test my patience. I will continue to be hoping believing waiting unless you show us otherwise but please make it soon.