FET PLAN - part 1

I got my general FET plan from my RE today that I am taking with me when I go back to Dr. Kwak-Kim the RI this coming Friday. She will be adding to it the items she wants me to do for the clotting (lovenax shots) and nk cells (predisone, maybe IVIg or Intraplids) etc. I think by the time I see her and then go back to my RE with her additions we will have missed my May period. Maybe they'll let me do provera to jump start one so we can go earlier than my June cycle but I foresee us getting back into things in June. Less stuff than doing a fresh IVF but still a lot to process and gear up for, new meds and treatments this time around. Getting really nervous about it all. Some excited but more apprehension that we will get good results and not another mc or bfn. At least I know I have done all I can the past few months to make sure my general health (all the testing, bp, thyroid, weight loss, new supplements) is the best it can be to give this the best shot. 

 

POEM - Patiently waiting

Patiently waiting

Baby I love you though God has not yet given you to me,
I have spent my whole life learning patience and that is now what I am trying to be
I love you though we have not met, and though you are not yet real;
Some how you are in every thought, and love is all I feel
You're a dream I didn't know I had, a prayer I didn't know I would pray;
A song that I would sing to you, if only you would stay.
We want you in our life to share a love that is so strong;
And we will continue to wait for you-it does not matter how long
We believe God's perfect plan so you will come when the time is right;
And though you are not real yet, you are already Mommy's delight
I want to hold you in my arms and teach you to be great;
I want you to be our legacy, our destiny, our fate
Your Daddy and I love you and we can't wait for the day;
When we kiss you gently and you will not go away.
We have a wonderful marriage, maybe this hardship is our test;
But holding hands together, we continue to pray for the best.
That you will grace our lives with greatness and make us family;
So the love that is too much for two can soon be shared by three.

From the book  "Every drunken cheerleader...why not me?"

We give a HOOT about Infertility Awareness

Infertility Awareness Week is coming up on Sunday. It's a week to take time to really talk about what the disease of infertility means to so many of us going through it. I've had many things in life that I have gone through but this is by far the most difficult. It doesn't end, it consumes years of your life, there is no guarantee of a cure or happy ending. Many of us go on to have multiple mc or difficult pregnancies. The hardest part of it all is lack of support from family, friends, and even insurance companies who refuse to even consider coverage for testing and procedures that may cure infertility. 

One might say why not adopt. Adoption is not for everyone. What others don't understand is that some may have things from there past that prevent it, or unable to save the $20,000 to $40,000 in costs involved with adoption, or fear the emotional toll of going though it all only to have a birth mother change there mind or have a child with bonding and emotional difficulties. Also, adoption while wonderful when it works out, does not dismiss the fact that Infertility still exists and needs to be addressed. It's a growing issue that 1 in 8 couples deal with probably someone you know. Many of us remain silent due to the condemnation most of us receive.

I don't think it's too much to ask that everyone have the right to at least be given the chance to get help in having there own bio child. Many countries allow couples at least 1 free try at IVF. Why not here? So many other diseases are covered and it's about time infertility is one of them. If others can fight for equal rights for all then how about us Infertiles too!

For me infertility is part of my life, many friends have told me they don't want to hear about it, or we have been judged we are going against God, but unless you have walked in my shoes you have no idea what it is like to fight this battle everyday, the struggle, the heartache, the cost.

Infertility will remain part of who I am whether we get a happy ending or not it will always remain with me and part of me. God has used it as part of my journey to allow me to meet and reach out to some wonderful woman I call friends and mold me to be a stronger person. Prayerfully we will also go on to have victory over this disease with a child. I still continue to cling to Psalms 113:9 and believe in the Lord's promises. It's my wish this IF week that my story will bring others Hope and that they know are not alone.

For IF week I made up these owls for my HBW page just to remind people that it's time we ALL give a hoot about infertility cause there can be HOPE in Overcoming Obstacles while Ttc.

Take some time to reach out to someone dealing with the pain of infertility this week and really let them know you care!